Apr 11, 2007

This won't hurt a bit...

Hang on, because we’re now going to insert enough energy into your body that should we not extract it properly later on, it would rip you apart. And we’re doing it with what looks like nothing more than a big comfy living room armchair. But, the secret is, this armchair is bolted to an Energy Conversion and Time/Space Continuum Unit (or T/SCU for short). The T/SCU can collapse space by a factor of hundreds. What used to take 10 days we can do now in 5 hours. A journey from England to Vancouver Island that used to take six months now takes a mere 12 hours!

To accomplish this miracle our T/SCU utilizes compressed dead diatoms. Our Energy Converters will extract the stored energy of the sun, held dormant for a million years, and release it in strictly controlled stages. This energy will be used to collapse space and compress time. It will provide the force we need to lift you to a higher view of reality. You will see for miles and miles and miles and travel to destinations beyond previous possibilities in times so short as to make the ancients shake their heads in disbelief. And all you need to is sit back and relax as you would in your own living room.

You may have guessed - our T/SCU - is also known as a jet airliner. The maneuver by which we inject you with kilo-joules of energy and embark upon these wonderful feats of reality-shifting is called, simply, The Take-Off.

Are you ready? Don’t worry. If all goes well it won’t hurt a bit.

1 comment:

Aviatrix said...

That's awesome. Take-off is my favourite part of the flight and that description is part of why.